Full Honesty and Disclosure

I want to start this post with full disclosure and honesty. I get so many people telling me how brave I am. And how they could never do what I am doing. Mì familia es mì fuerza! Translation- My family is my strength! I could not do this without their love and support. I spent christmas and new years with my family. I wanted to go home and tell my parents in person the journey I was about to embark on. During this time a good portion of my family was together. I was able to talk with them on a personal level and I received great feedback. I was still really nervous about this adventure. I was scared shitless to be 100%; but I put it in my mind that there was no other option then to follow through. And if I told my family that I was going to do it then there is no way that I could back out. I am completely and unconditionally in love with my family. I was blessed to grow up in close proximity to a large portion of my family. All of my AUNTS and UNCLES have a hand in raising me. They have all ha huge influence on the man I am today. All of my COUSINS and I have grown together. We are all off doing our own thing, but no matter where we are, we are bound TOGETHER.
I have absolutely no problems being in the woods or walking the highway by myself for days at a time. Sometimes when I am alone I allow my mind to get the best of me. When you are traveling solo you have no one to bounce ideas off of. It is all on me which is nice because sometimes I put myself in stressful situations that I would not want to put another through. On that note, in all honesty I have my mother and my father to fall back on. At times it feels like a curse of weakness; but in actuality it is a blessing. I have only had to fall back on them twice. Miami was the last time it occurred. I was so excited to see my friends and all the possibilities that Ultra Music Festival presents. So excited that I did not plan for or even think about an exit strategy. I had planned on taking the ten all the way to it’s end in northern Florida and then cuttin’ up to NYC. Miami was a unexpected surprise. A surprise that once everyone departed to the airport left me feeling helpless for multiple reasons. I did not take into account that I know nothing about Miami or it’s highway system. After everyone left I was in a figure it out quick fast situation. I was so exhausted from the previous five days of raging face that I ended up setting up not to far from where we stayed. I found a bush an set up my sleeping bag and racked out. When I woke up the next day, ‘what am I going to do now?’ Slapped me in the face and I started to panic a bit. Rather then take it on like a man who got himself into this predicament, I called my Ma and Pa. I went right into freak out mode and told them I had no idea what I was going to do to get myself out of Miami. I began to tell them that it didn’t seem like a hitch hike or camp out friendly city. In all truth I wanted them to say, ‘yo let us get you a greyhound ticket up outta there.’ That is why I say curse and a blessing. My parents love me so much that they would never want to hear that I am struggling. That is the curse, because I know I can fall back on that. It is a blessing to have, feel, and know that love exists for me. Like I said this is the second time I have called them in this panic mode. And I knew I would not have them buy me a ticket; but hearing them say it for some reason gives me a boost. It helps slaps me back to reality. It helps bring me back to what a portion of this trip is about, SELF RELIANCE. My parents did not say, ‘ hey Matt go out and walk/hitch hike across the country. And oh yea we think it would be even better if you did it with not a dime to ya name.’ Matter of fact they tried to be parents and didn’t think it was a sane or reasonable journey. Their love and support is what puts my ass in check. I am the one who put myself in this predicament, an that means I have to be the one to get myself out of it. I reconvened with my strength of heart, mind, and soul and I told my Mom an Pop, ” I am sorry for worrying you momentarily. Worry no more because I am a warrior and I will handle this.” They told me to keep it movin’ and keep them updated. I went into the Starbucks bathroom, splashed water in my face, filled my water, and gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. I walked out of that bathroom still confused as to what I was going to do; but I knew I was going to do something.
I strapped up the toe shoes outside and gave a quick stretch. I hucked my rucksack on my back, put my head phones in and started truckin’. While I am walking, sun beating down trying to be a discouraging force, I just kept repeating to myself, “You have no other option than to succeed. You will get the fuck out of Miami today!” Within 1 hour and a half I was in a car with two amazing ladies. I spent the entire day talking with them and having them show me parts of Miami tourist don’t see. My whole view of Miami flipped 180. And by the end of that day my heart, mind, and the love of other beings had me on a bus four hours north to Orlando. All that stress and worry was for NOTHING! I have said it all through out my post, if you want to focus on the negative possibilities then all your going to get is stress. Somethings are just out of are control and we have to learn to roll with that, and focus strictly on what we can effect in that moment and on to the next. We are all capable of ANYTHING. And we ALL have the ability to ADAPT and OVERCOME ANY obstacle that presents itself in our path. Another lesson learned that has taken me a few times to grasp. Actually taken many multiples of times to grasp. I have a feeling that it is just one of life’s test that will always be there to keep us on our toes and remind us.
I didn’t sleep so well on the bus ride, and arrived at 4am in Orlando. If you don’t have a transfer ticket to another spot you are supposed to kick rocks and leave the greyhound station. It was super cold outside and Instill needed to rest up for the next day. I snuck right past the guard and found myself a little nook to hide and catch some shut eye. I woke up around 8:30 and was cloudy headed and red eyed’. I am not a morning person, so it takes me a moment to wake up and be solid minded. I can be grumpy at times when I first wake up. I like silence and peaceful surroundings. Didn’t get that at all. Im sitting on a bench and this dude comes out of left field an sits right next to me. Would be no problem except he is talking loud as hell on his cell. And before I know it this cat is free-styling raps to his girlfriend, loud, and is horrible at it! In my mind I am yelling furious words and shooting mind daggers straight for his jugular! Next thing I know he is off his phone. He looks at me and says, ” hey bruh, I can’t finish this last piece of chicken. You want to crush it?” And with a nod he hands it over to me. I was hella hungry, and while I am mowing it down feeling horrible for my previous thoughts dude is happy and smiling. Not a lesson learned, more like another slap in the face wake up call for positive thoughts. Doesn’t matter your tired and upset, the rest of the world wants to be happy. And it wants you to join in with that happiness. LOVE that gentleman for showing me whats up and starting my day off in the right mental direction. A few moments later the security guard came over an said let me sew your ticket. I told him, ‘ no worries brother. I was just about to leave.’
I got out into the heart of Orlando and just started walking. It is a really beautiful place. I hadn’t talked to my friend Val Mc Valster in a while and I knew she would keep the good vibes going. She did not disappoint! Love you Val! I was recently blessed with a online Starbucks gift card from Cathy (one of my best friends mother). I stumbled onto one and enjoyed a big coffee, a bagel, and a tasty brownie. I handled some internet affairs and talked to a few more friends, always a rejuvenating situation. I was soon joined by to sisters who sat at the table with me. They were both proud loving mothers interested to see what I was about. I told them about my journey and a few of my adventure tales. It was really awesome company/conversation. As they were leaving one of the mothers handed me a 10$ bill. I tried to refuse it and they told me to take it because as mothers they will have a feeling of safety for me. I don’t argue with my mother; so why would I start with the beautiful ladies. A few moments later I received a text. It was my friend Mel who I had just met a few weeks prior in the woods at Rainbow Gathering. She asked where I was and if I was going to make it to Gainesville to hang out and see her band play. I told her I didn’t know how I would get there but I would try. She wrote me back ten minutes later and told me to give her the address where I was, because she was on her way to get me. Mel drove two hours each way to get me!!! That ten bucks was a sweet kick down for gas, thanks mama. Mel and her husband opened their home to me with wide arms. I am so blessed and thankful! I totally did not expect to be in Gainesville on this trip. The best things in life are unexpected!!!!!!! This place is so rad! I an not wait to write the post to tell you all about this epic time here! It is not over yet so you will have to wait…. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL DAYS TO READ!!!!!

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